can we get nightvision for the apartment?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
