Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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