Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
