You're completely useless in the revolution.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
