Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
