drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
