my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
