party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
