how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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