My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
