Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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