The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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