; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
