so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
