nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
