I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
