yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
