He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
