R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
