i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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