So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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