i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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