So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
