Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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