You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
