I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
