I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
