Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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