what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
