yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
