Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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