There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
