Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
