Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
