somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
