Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
