I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
