you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
