It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Randomize