Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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