Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
