Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
