he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
