Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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