I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
