you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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