Ambien. No doubt about it.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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