I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
