i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I FOUND THE LEGS
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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