Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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