just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
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