you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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