my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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