she was so not down for the gang bang
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
