He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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