it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
