im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
