North Korea, Best Korea!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize