Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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