if you like me you must not know who I am
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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