I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The power of my boobs compel you
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize