I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
