Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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