I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
