Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
