I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize