i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
this hospital has no fireball
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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