there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize