yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
