1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
