Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
