I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
